I’ve have too many bad experiences collaborating with others on creative projects; how do I meet ideal creative people (and sniff out the rotten ones) and work with them successfully?
Edward, Southampton U.K.
🤜🤛
Dear Edward,
Are you willing to surrender? Are you open to change?
Surrender, I think, is the secret to a successful collaboration: the founding acceptance that you won’t have everything your own way, that the project won’t be made in your image; that there might be parts of it you don’t love all that much — and that’s OK.
A successful collaboration is one that ships and collaborations fail because at least one person isn’t willing to surrender. They are holding on to a vision in their head and their ego insists it is better than everyone else’s. They are closed to the possibilities of other people.
When your collaborator says “I think we should film it this way, what do you think?” the best answer is “Let’s try it” — not because the idea is the right one, but because it comes from a position of openness, trust and compromise: The improvisor’s mantra “Yes, and…”
And of course, your collaborator(s) must be willing to surrender to you as well.
Like a relationship, a collaboration requires trust. A good collaborator says “yes” frequently and “no” gently; otherwise how can either of you feel safe sharing your ideas?
The dancer Twyla Tharp has written a whole book on collaboration, which you might find useful Edward; here’s a line that stuck out to me as I tried to answer your question:
“The root of any any collaboration is interchange—literally change. Nothing forces change more dramatically than a new partnership. Collaboration guarantees change because it makes us accommodate the reality of our partners — and accept all the ways they are not like us. And those differences are important. The more we can draw upon our partners’ strengths and avoid approving our partners’ weaknesses the better that partnership will be.”
Twyla Tharp
As I have said before, the real gift of art is the way it changes the artist and a collaboration can really change you — if you are open to it.
I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences with creative partners in the past and I really admire you for continuing to seek your people. Like in love, it can be hard to get back on the saddle and, like a lover, the right creative partner will probably just “feel right”.
And, much like relationships, technology is making it easier and easier to make art alone. Bands are in decline. Soon, I expect, we’ll see movies made entirely by single creators. I’m not sure, but I don’t think that’s necessarily a net positive, for artist or audience.
So keep on trying.
Until another Sunday soon,
